This is going to be a short one; get excited, or mad, but either way at least I warned you!
I don’t know where the colloquialism “the struggle is real” came from, but I believe in it right now. My struggle is real. I am experiencing a lot of struggles right now, both personal and professional (Can I even say that about my current job status?), and I am working through them to the best of my ability.
This weekend was tough. I am feeling pretty lonely right now. Some details do not need to be blogged about, but, in essence, I am lonely and missing some important people (shout out to me Seester and Bro for being awesome though, they are making this transitional period MUCH easier). Mix that with external frustrations (for one, Toshiba’s customer service is deplorable and they have a stupid ordering system; that is all), and adapting to a new job, and I am not enjoying life as much as I would like.
The first thing to take a hit when I am not happy, because let me be honest, I am not all that happy, currently a 50/50 happiness split, is my productivity. You probably noticed I did not post over the weekend. I said I would, and then I was feeling crummy, so I pretty much did nothing but sit and mull over said crumminess. A wonderful woman always used a quote from the romantic comedy French Kiss and it pertains to this:
Express, not repress.
Mulling over bad times does not work unless you do the mulling outside of your own mind. Otherwise, in the words of my father, it’s like wiping your ass with a hula-hoop; you get the same shit over and over. Put the mulling out on a table and share it with someone; it helps, trust me. Well, I did not do that. I sat and wallowed for most of the weekend, so I got little to nothing done.
The new job is challenging, and I am glad it is challenging, but I am struggling to enjoy the work and work place. Stepping straight into a supervisory role is difficult, especially when you are like me and not familiar with corporate retail in a big city environment. Add on top of that the fact that there are employees there that I have to direct that know more than me, and it becomes an awkward situation quickly. I am doing my best to find the upside, to learn fast, and earn respect, but it is hard and I don’t leave work with pep in my step. Do not get me wrong, I am thankful for my job. It is just difficult right now. Change is hard. Adapting is a struggle. In the end though, I will be better because of it.
So that is my update: I am struggling. Not all that glamorous, profound, or informative, but it is the truth. And in truth, we are all struggling in our own way. Some more, some less. I am here to share in your struggle, because we should all be able to express, and just like the express lane, it should work both ways. Alright, that was a cheesy metaphor, but if any of you need someone to help you mull over struggles, I would be more than happy to chat.